Dads stories

Sent: Thursday, 19 October 2000 4:02 PM
Dear Harald,

Did you manage to reach her? My beloved? I quickly sent her a text message this morning, but she ignored it. Maybe she was already in bed.

Well, it seems worse with the timetable than you explain. I don’t believe she will be back in Neuss on Monday already. And on the 25th October, Wednesday, is our class reunion, which was organised because of her visit. And it seems to me as if she had said that Thursday, i.e. today, she will be going to Westfalen. I will email you the telehpone number. She will spend a day and night with my sister Gretchen in Schwerte and then go onto Bielefeld, to visit Guenter, the son of my deceased brother.

Life is not easy! But you should not need a whole day, one evening should suffice, otherwise I will end up getting jealous!

„I get less and less excited about things“

I worry about this. I know the feeling, I too was happy when my last years at work were behind me. I always complained about the autocratic old man, my boss, but when the new one arrived, it became dreadful for me. New methods, democracy, and one meeting after the other, shit! You need something at home that completely distracts you. I painted. Great Therapy.

I started something here. I knew immediately, when I sent off the last email, that it would not go well. So, don’t have any worries, my time on earth won’t be over for a long time.I intend to live to 135, my funeral I have booked for the 31st May 2065. I find things down here far too interesting. And there are countless things I still have to put right, otherwise I won’t be going up into ethereal Walhalla, but down into the burning pit. There will be wailing and gnashing of teeth! And in such a gruesome environment I would immediately perish J

Silence for me equates with peace, or the manifestation of peace. I still remember a long letter which I wrote to my then best friend Father Esser. I was 17. I wrote to him that I would prefer to spend countless years in a monastry, because of the peace, and to find myself. And straight afterwards I met Hedwig. After that I no longer wanted the monastry! Many years later, I accompanied Dennis on a retreat here in Melbourne for several days. That was one of the best experiences of my life. There was complete silence. Dennis and I sometimes went for walks without opening our mouths. I always believed that we enjoy each others company much more when we keep our mouths shut! Talking forces the mind into gear and often with things that one is absolutely not interested in, which of course is a handicap to the peaceful coexistance of two people. One is usually aware of what the other one is thinking in any case. Animals give a good example, apart from the monkeys. Of course it is much more fun when we yack, because of the yacking! So, silence is spelled by me with a very big capital S.

Sometimes I feel guilty towards Hedwig. She is chatting day in and day out. Fantastic when we have visitors. I am not a good converstationalist. I prefer to write letters. „yes...because nobody can contradict you“ Hedwig says cheekily. I will be so happy when she comes back.

Well this letter is already long! We will get back into practice.

Kind Greetings. By the way, Hedwig had asked me that I should let you know that she is not a big eater!

Kind Regards to Anne.

Peter.

Translaters comment: I remember many a trip with Dad in his car when there was total silence between us. Briefly I would rack my brain trying to think of something to say but gave up. It was too hard. And he never tried to say a word. Now I know why. But it is so uncanny what traits one inherits. I too love silence. Even prefer it to background music. And I find I need my periods of silence to function properly or I get totally uptight and anxious.