Dads stories

Shopping stinks!

5th January 2000
(Note: most of the time when Dad has mum speaking it is in Platt Deutsch, which of course sounds a lot funnier than the english that I have translated)

To answer your letter, possibly to be continued.
Gesundheit: (in English: bless you or God bless, why I have not yet figure out). But we are not talking about a cold of course.
I have just returned from Northlands, a giant shoppping complex, all under one roof with airconditioning, with hundreds of shops, department stores (like the Kaufhof in Duesseldorf) and several huge supermarkets, and opposite Northlands, a dozen or more funiture stores and a really large hardware shop, all approx 5 minutes from here.
I have to explain a bit to clarify the statement that we, Hedwig and I, slowly “sauntered” through there before Christmas. Which made you ask after my health.
I made an appointment at the medical centre there for tomorrow in their physio department, for various blood tests and an EKG. The heart specialist sends me there regularly, before my next appointment with him is due (every 3 months). They sent me away because this time I had to fast for 10 hours, before they could tap my blood. I also have to go there every 4 weeks for Warfarin tests, again, blood suctioning. Wafarin are pills which don’t allow the blood to clot. The same as rat poison, only in smaller doses. It causes the bleeder sickness in rats (in me too, but not so severe, but still, I have to take care that I don’t cut myself), and since they (the rats) are always at each others throats, they bleed to death! Thanks goodness that Hedwig doesn’t not have this awful habit! My other doctor (who one used to call family doctor) also sucks out my blood, because of apparent diabetes. But there I visit as little as possible (3 to 6 monthly), seeing I don’t get the flue any more and such sicknesses. So you see, I am well looked after.
By the way, this doesn’t cost me one cent. Pensioners get everything free. Hedwig too. But she doesn’t run her socks off like I do, she only goes when it is almost too late. She can’t stand it: “I know how I feel, don’t their advise. In any case, I have to tell them everything myself, they don’t know anything, so that I can also cure myself”.

Back to “sauntering”. You know, there are a few characteristics that we don’t have in common, Hedwig and I. Actually more than a few. And one of these is shopping. When I want something, I go into the shop, pick up something out of the shelf, pay and am out of there, as fast as possible. Hedwig on the other hand and has an inborn drive for shopping. She goes into the shop, and a whole world opens up to her and lies at her feet. She knows exactly what is cheaper today than yesterday, and especially what is dearer today than yesterday. She wanders two, three times through each lane, round about the shop and thinks not only of us, because what we need isn’t very much, no, she had the entire clan in her head. And there is this and that which she can later on discuss on the telephone, or she buys it in any case on spec, so to say, or as a gamble. One or the other one will be able to use it, otherwise she puts it away for Christmas. During the year she manages to find someone for it. And this is a very big family. Hedwig is a genius at bargain hunting. During the time when we were really poor, the first years in Melbourne, she earned with her talent at least double of what she could have earned had she gone to work, which in any case was impossible considering the house full of kids.
So. How this panned out between us is as follows. We both have a mobile phone, you call it Handy. Usually I drive her to the shop and there are about 9 large supermarkets in our area (10 minutes). She always goes to a different one, otherwise she is not in the know as to which one is cheaper etc and what the others all need. Five of these shops are open day and night. During the day she usually sends me home, she can’t stand it if she keeps me waiting. For there are not only supermarkets, but hundreds of other shops as well. And then there is also the Preston Market, Wednesday to Saturday. In other words, she needs her time.
When she is almost ready, she calls my mobile phone and lets it ring 3 times, my signal to pick her up. If she doesn’t send me home, I stay in the car and listen to music. They have some great radio stations here.
There is absolutely no point that I go with her. Firstly shopping stinks as far as I am concerned, and secondly I make her nervous. One example, during the night in the supermarket:
“Man, you run after me like a little doggy.
Go and sit on that bench”
I go and join the nightwatchman who happens to be sitting there. “She said to me I follow her like a little doggy”. I open the conversation. “Here you are, have a lolly” he says and gives me a lolly. Then we talked about his other half, what, I have forgotten. Then Hedwig comes back with her full shopping trolley.
“you told him that he is following you like a little dog” he accuses her playfully.
“yes..and the good man gave me a lolly” I said.
“ah, that was very nice of you”, said Hedwig and we took of to the car park.
So it happens very seldom that we “saunter” through the shops, but not because of health reasons.
I only have a problem when it gets too hot, or when I bend down or otherwise extend myself. Otherwise I am as healthy as a fish in the water. Then only thing that gives me the shits is that I am continually sleeping.
“You had another one of your nightmares before, but you only screamed once” she just tells me. Yes, that is another problem without a solution.
Before when she was reading your email: “I have that book”.
??
“the one he wrote about”.
I am not surprised about anything anymore. She gave it to me. Sophie’s World by Jostein Garderner. “You would probably like it”
Yeh! Yeh!
I will answer the other questions another time.
Cheers. Peter.
By the way I stored the emails before your disaster in a file. When you one day find a large attachment in your inbox, then that is what it will be.
There was a greeting from Dennis which I just opened up……

I am not sure if you have these ones....
Fair dinkumYour a galahLooks like a dogs breakfastHave a goTrue bluCossiesTinniesBlast from the pastStrethRegards,....DennisPS....you may find some interesting Australian sayings in the MacquarieDictionary of Colloqualism(??....dictionary may be called something else)

posted by Inge @ 11:11 am